As a life coach, the question I get asked most often is “what are the right steps to take in order to turn personal goals or dreams into a reality?”. While the exact process obviously varies person to person, I feel like I’ve been able to master a few of the core steps and I wanted to share the very first one (maybe the most important) I learned.
By using this regiment, I’ve been able to meet most of my goals for my “ideal life” so far; traveling often..helping people through my coaching..writing and publishing two books – to an outsider, every time I share a new accomplishment I ALWAYS get comments like “wait so when did this happen?”. To anyone observing, it seems like it came out of no where, over night, but that’s not true AT ALL. Behind the scenes, I work extremely hard to be able to live a life I love. I’m CONSTANTLY setting new personal goals, the thing is – I just don’t talk about them early on. So, I want to share with you guys the KEY TECHNIQUE I use over and over again to reach my personal goals in what appears to others to be a short amount of time.
Ok – here it is, the big secret: “Don’t Tell People Your Plans. Show Them Your Results.” Ta-Da!
As hard as it may seem to believe I did not:
– Write an entire book over night
– Become a life coach over night
– Have a website created over night
These are all things I worked very longgggg and hard at before I made the news public and the reason why I believe it’s better to keep quiet and let your results speak for themselves…well, there are many, but I’m going to focus on the top three.
First of all, as upsetting as it is, our peers can be extremely discouraging influences in our lives without meaning to be or even realizing it. When you share your goals and dreams with your family, friends, significant other, co-workers, they might think what you’re doing isn’t possible or doesn’t make any sense (to them) and trust me – you’ll be able to tell right away by their response, expression or mannerism if they “approve” and this can literally make or break the beginning of your endeavor and stop you from even giving it a shot.
Second, by keeping your personal goals, personal, you can work on your own timeline at your own pace. Once you put something out there to the public they’re going to constantly ask you (probably a ton of) questions because by nature we’re a curious breed. You might not be able to answer their questions, or even want to, and it can be extremely overwhelming and discouraging when this happens and create a lot of self-doubt that wasn’t there before “why don’t I have the right answers? why haven’t I progressed more? why am I even doing this?!” And suddenly there you are….self-sabotogating everything you’ve been working towards!
Third (the worst case scenario that we all think about), what if things fall through or don’t pan out the way you expected? Hey, it happens to all of us ALL THE TIME and it is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. Life isn’t predictable and variables are thrown in that we couldn’t have planned for. We accept it and move on to the next adventure. However, if you’ve kept your goals to yourself and this happens – there’s no need to explain to anyone. If you don’t get that job you were interviewing for or that role you auditioned for or you’re not losing any weight on that new diet you told everyone you were doing – you don’t have to feel ashamed or embarrassed (which is human nature). We are our own biggest critics and we don’t need the judgement of others to go along with it.
The successful people aren’t talking about what they’re doing, they’re just doing it! And they have TONS of ideas that have failed that most of us were never even aware of…
To be clear, I’m not saying be inauthentic and lie to everyone around you because everything you’re doing is “top secret”. You can be real, but still candid about steps you’re taking to move forward in life. However, there’s no need to announce whatever “it” is to the world before it comes into fruition – because that, in itself, is never very rewarding anyways.
What I have learned is to wait till the very last stage to promote, market or share your good news and celebrate with those around you. Even then sometimes things fall through because like I said, that’s life and it’s on to the next, but you will be avoiding a whole lot of upset and double guessing yourself from embarking on, what could be, a personal life-changing journey.
With that being said, we as humans are communicators and it always helps to have someone to consult with: to bounce ideas off of, encourage you when you’re stuck, help you with the next steps etc. That is why it is always a great idea to have an accountability partner or a life coach in your corner! It is most helpful if this person is non-biased (aka someone who can give you an outsider’s point of view). Honestly, that is why I decided to pursue life coaching – because I LOVE being that person to help, encourage and watch you reach your goals!
We’re in the last quarter of the year for 2018 with less than 90 days to go and I challenge you to try it out! Set a personal goal for something you’ve been passionate about or wanting to pursue, work hard at it for the next 3 months, get a life coach or accountability partner, and then let the results speak for themselves – you’ll honestly be amazed at what you accomplish! xx